Anti-evangelism: What Christians say all the time but shouldn’t

Charles Brammall on comfortable words – and uncomfortable ones too

“Piety” is how we talk about and express our relationship with God, and what people hear. What it seems like to them. I think it’s crucial to avoid making others feel second-class.

It’s great if we can avoid expressing our piety in a way that is alienating for unbelievers (or other believers, for that matter). Or makes them feel second-class. So it’s helpful to avoid using Christian/theological jargon or quaint, twee or reductionistic truisms/slogans, thinking they will help non-Christians. They probably won’t. And don’t expect them to have the same worldview/awareness of God as you do.

Try not to say things like
“I will cover you in prayer”,
“God is more interested in making your life holy than making your life happy”,
“No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for”,
“One of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others”,
“Happy moments? PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments? SEEK GOD. Quiet moments? WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments? TRUST GOD. Every moment – THANK GOD.”

They may be accurate sentiments as far as they go, but they are ultimately unhelpful for a non-Christian (and often other Christians) to hear.

Talk about Jesus, but don’t be threatening. I’m encouraged and challenged by a dear friend who aims to chat with at least one person after church about something significant about the sermon and their relationship with God. He doesn’t want to waste time, especially as we “see the day approaching” (Jesus’ return, Hebrews 10:25).

How does he do this? Well, he’s a little bit “sneaky” and disarming. His first question is never, “What did you learn in the sermon this morning?” because that can be a bit forward and threatening. Instead, he tells them enthusiastically about something he learned or was encouraged or challenged by. It’s a natural way to start a conversation about important things, and people are often more comfortable sharing something they were struck by if you kick it off. 

About home group – love and good works – and spurring each other on: Please join a group! Or if you’re already in one, go regularly. It’s a shame (and ultimately inadequate for getting to know God) to only get one dose of his word in the sermon each week – just listening to the sermon (good as it may be) doesn’t give you the opportunity of discussing a passage/topic/doctrine with Christian brothers and sisters over food, whilst receiving someone’s hospitality. So, if the LORD gives you the privilege of engaging more with his word (and brothers and sisters) than once each week, go for it. It’s also an excellent opportunity to look after and care for others in the group and build them as Christians.

Once again, As Hebrews 10:24-5 says, sin is deceptive, but we have the privilege of “considering how to spur one another on to love and good works”, especially as we see the Day of Jesus’ return approaching. 

Jeremiah 17:9 says our heart is “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked – who can understand it?” But in Ezekiel 36:26, God says: “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you.”

So a prayer and Bible study group with friends/other couples/other men or women is a crucial reality check and a safety net against us falling away or falling into sin. It is one of the ways God removes our “heart of stone and gives us a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26)

Even the fact that I turn up faithfully each week, even if I’m tired, is a great way to: “guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7), and keep each other from falling away.

I was in a Bible study group, and if one of the members told the leader they couldn’t come that week because they were exhausted, he would say, “That’s fine! Just come anyway, we’d love to look after you. You can fall asleep on the lounge. We love having you there. It’s so encouraging when you come!”

One night, a lady in the group looked at her watch towards the end of the gathering and said, “Whoops! Better get going now. My husband’s waiting for me at home. I’m only ovulating for one more hour or so.” Hilarious but fine! It’s great to look after our fellow group members like this.