Charles Brammall on a change your small group needs to make.
Our small prayer and Bible study groups are a great joy and life-changing when they include incisive, personal, and honest applications. To miss this opportunity is sad, and it’s not treating God’s Words as the life-changing communication they are. It will take each of us individually to bring this about in our groups. Here are a few thoughts about how we can facilitate this encouraging change:
Gently steer the conversation in the study towards personal, significant application, not just generic (well-meaning) “Christian sounding” stuff. Do this during all the questions, including the “comprehension” and “think it through” ones- not just the ones specifically about application. In my experience there’s usually an embarrassed silence when application questions are asked, while people struggle to think of something. Eventually, we proffer the “expected” and “pat” answers, which are usually impersonal. But I can model for others by talking about how it applies to me personally, especially being honest about my sins and foibles.
One of my Christian leaders who encouraged and challenged me the most is Col Marshall (former director of the Ministry Training Strategy). He was always honest about his weaknesses, foibles, and mistakes.
It made me realise, with a great sense of relief, that I wasn!t the only one experiencing these things. Even the great ones experience the same temptation as me.
Admitting your own struggles like this in your small group can work miracles among the other people, and they will begin to do the same thing. A new vibe can develop, and the whole feel and tenor of the group changes.
Someone in a previous group of mine shared about how they were having relationship counselling with their spouse. Things were not going well for them. They admitted to us that they were sceptical and resistant at first but ended up being surprised and gratified by how helpful (although difficult) it has been. They were refreshingly honest about how they had learnt that what they were doing as a spouse was inadequate and ultimately unhelpful. And that they were not trying to understand their spouse’s needs (which were entirely different from their own).
Their spouse was a completely different person to them (in a delightful way) and not exactly the same as them at all. I know I forget this about Chiq. Our spouses have very different needs, thresholds and boundaries from us.
They are: “remarkably and wonderfully made. (God!s) works are wonderful.” Psalm 139:14.
The fact this person was honest, humble and teachable about their weakness was an encouragement for our group. The rest of us began sharing things that were equally personal and significant. We started reading the Bible as it is – life-changing Words from God that speak into the most significant parts of our lives. Out of this person’s despair, they did us a service they didn’t even mean to do. Our small groups can be life-changing places of great joy when each of
us, individually, gently steers the conversation towards honest, revealing application about our own sins and weaknesses. That is, by treating God’s Words as the life-changing communication they are.