OPINION
LANGUAGE WARNING
Comments by Professor Joanna Howe and her husband, Jack Howe, about the consent programs in schools led by Chantal Contos’ campaigning against abuse of girls by male students have led to a lot of media commentary and a threatened libel case from the Howes as a result.
Professor Howes is best known as an anti-abortion or pro-life activist, but her career in academia, as a law professor at Adelaide University and as the NSW Rhodes Scholarship winner for 2008 are also notable.
Finding out what was actually said by the Howes on the Dr Jo Show podcast is difficult – apparently it has been removed from the normal YouTube feed – at least for transcription, but not impossible. The Other Cheek has transcribed an exceprt of their conversation using a version of the Dr Jo video uploaded by “Australian femicide Watch.” It is a conversational podcast, mostly light in tone, with some mockery of viewpoints to the left of the Howes, but aiming to make serious points. The Other Cheek believes that the full context of the podcast conversation does not justify the charge that some media have made that Jack Howe endorsed marital rape, rather that the Howes believe that marriage is the best environment for sex.
Taking one sentence from the conversation “We don’t do consent” is the basis for some people being critical of the Howes, Jack Howes in particular and allegations of supporting marital rape.
For this reason The Other Cheek believes it is helpful to provide a fuller context, via a transcript,because such a serious charge means the Howes deserve a fair hearing.
We encourage readers to make up their own minds, but caution against deciding what you think on the basis of the Howes’ view on abortion – whether you agree with them or not.
It is also worth pointing out the while Joanna Howes is a polished and formidible speaker, it becomes clear that her husband is not as skilled.
Our transcript begins as Professor Joanna Howe and James Howe have been discussing their view of “woke” men and feminist women’s relationships.
Joanna Howe (discussing her view of starting a relationship): For me it’s about character. So, I was looking for things like, ‘is this man, like, actually respecting me? Like, do you know, has he slept around? Does he try to, like, do things that I’m clearly not okay with, you know, that I’ve, like, that sort of thing? Like, where does he take me to? You know, does he take me to a club, or does he take me out to a nice restaurant for dinner? You know.
James Howe: Or both.
Joanna Howe: You know, [laughter] James ticked all those boxes. By the way, you did a really good job.
James Howe: Took you to a club.
Joanna Howe: No, we [laughter] never went to a club. We wouldn’t have known what to do there.
James Howe: That’s true. So, um, yeah, that’s right. And like if anything, the red flag would be like, um, so [in a mocking tone] “‘”I’m actually going to give you the opportunity to pay for this because, um, you know, I don’t believe that men should pay for women’s meals.”‘” Can you imagine? That’s a red flag. [laughter]
Joanna Howe: And this teach us consent bulls–t Like, it’s it’s like, I had two rules when we were dating and and they were just like they going to sound stupid, [laughter] but they were stay public, stay vertical. Like, you did. It’s, like, not much can go wrong. She [From earlier mention, Contos] makes it sound like men are just like, like just waiting to rape you, but if you get really drunk and you go into dark spaces and where you’re alone, and you don’t know the man very well because you, like, met him on Tinder [laughter]
James Howe: Consent is not even a freaking thing for me. Like, I, I just, I just, don’t, I don’t do consent. I don’t, like, we don’t do consent [laughter]
Joanna Howe: They are going to clip that up online, and you’re going to sound really bad.
James Howe: But I don’t give a f–k. We – I don’t, I don’t like. I do marriage, man. Like, I don’t, I don’t do consent. Uh consent. Um, do you consent? Like what she was saying, we need to teach children. [Mocking tone] “Do you consent for me to take your top off, little girl?” [laughter]
Joanna Howe: Gross. It’s so creepy.
James Howe: She’s a freak, man. But like, but no, I don’t like – we don’t do consent.
We just we’re just married. Like, this is my wife. Um, I don’t need it. It’s just not even a It’s not even a, like, if you’re. Look, this is what these feminists have always done, man. They’re like, [In a mocking tone] “Free love. Free love. It’s so amazing. Free love. We can have sex with whoever we want.” Oh shit, you’re getting pregnant. Oh crap. Well, that didn’t work very well.
“Here, let’s take the pill. Yay! Free love. Free love. Oh shit we’ve all got diseases.” That’s not working. “Here, here’s a condom. All right, that’s fixed it. Ah, free love. We’re all getting pregnant. Oh, that’s all right. You know, you got on the pill, but it’s not working. Here, have abortions next minute. You know, like a million 100 million babies worldwide getting aborted. Oh, free love. Free love. Oh, no. We feel like we’re getting raped.”
“Even if it’s not rape, but we just feel like we’re getting raped because we, you know, we’re getting pressured or whatever. Oh, now we need consent in schools.” None of it freaking works. Like, none of [it]. Have you not figured that out yet? This is why I say to Anthony Abanese, like Anthony Abanese, this woman has nothing to teach you, man. Like, she does not have the answers. Consent is not the answer. It’s just another It’s just another fake solution waiting to fail. Okay. Like, at which point do you just admit that the whole, like, free love thing hasn’t worked?
It hasn’t worked. Like, it’s not working. It just leads to a trail of dead babies and, like, broken lives. That’s all it does.
Joanna Howe: So, like, broken women, like broken hearts, suicidal, like depression, anxiety through the roof because, you know, you’re just putting yourself in these places.
James Howe: That’s right. And don’t give me this bulls–t. Oh, we just need to teach them consent. Like, f–king people don’t know that it’s wrong to rape people like [snorts] these boys. Oh, if we just told them that they can’t, you know, go like, having sex with women, you know, against their will, then they would be like, “Oh, wow. You’re not supposed to do that.”
[laughter]
I had no idea. Give me a break, man.
Like, where do they even get these crazy ideas from? Like, we need to roll out these, like, new curriculums in schools to teach boys that it’s wrong to commit rape. Are you mental?
Joanna Howe: Yeah.
James Howe: I just, I don’t know. I just, I can’t do it with these people.
Joanna Howe: Yeah. The construct is marriage. It’s the one where if you have sex in it and you’ve chosen wisely because you’ve actually, like, looked at character, then you don’t need to talk about consent because you have a good marriage; that is the safest place for men and women to be having the only.
James Howe: Can I just say it’s the only consent that works…
What the Howes said and did not say
The Howes believe and assert the Christian doctrine that man-woman marriage is the place for sex. They disparage the consent curriculum inspired by Chanel Contos’ campaign that highlighted abuse of school girls by their male peers, especially in Sydney’s independent schools.
James Howe finally comes up with a good form of words to promote the Christian view when he says “consent is the only form of consent that works”. His earlier comment, “like I, I just, I just don’t, I don’t do consent,” that Joanna Howe correctly asserts will be clipped up and make him look bad, contradicts his later, better statement.
Rather than consent per se, they can be seen attack the consent curriculum which assumes sexual activity outside of marriage. But this is not made explicit on their podcast. The Other Cheek thinks this is unfornate.
Can this writer suggest that a better approach would be to say that marriage is the best environment for consent to operate. That marriage should be taught in schools – as the ultimate response to the abuse of women that Chanel Contos helpfully highlighted.
Personal attacks on Contost – and the parts of the podcast that The Other Cheek chose not to print contain a great deal of personal disparagement of Contos – don’t help the cause that the Howes are arguing for.
“There’s an even better form of consent,” is the message the Howes are trying to get across. “Go further, Chanal” would be a more positive, though critical, message. Instead of saying Contos has no answers, why not say there is an even better answer in marriage?
But the ugly description of what the Howes say that should be put to rest. James Howe is not as articulate as his wife and was clumsy in saying “we don’t do consent,” but he was not directly supporting marital rape. He meant something like “we don’t just do the Contos consent. We do it even better, in marriage.” He gets to it eventually.
The South Australian Deputy Premier and Attorney-General Kyam Maher weighed in, saying, “Of course you always need consent for sexual activity. To suggest otherwise, I think, is irresponsible and downright dangerous,” Maher said.
Joanna Howe was quoted in Adelaide Now: “You can’t possibly watch that episode and say that we support rape or that he rapes me or any of the vile things they said.”
As Christians, the Howes would be familiar with verses such as “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25), which implies putting aside what is he might desire, sacrificing himself for her.
The Other Cheek does not believe that James Howe was supporting marital rape. But he was quite clumsy in what he said in the oft-quoted “we don’t do consent.”
But quoting the whole of that thread of conversation, as this piece set out to do, gives a clearer view of what he meant to say. Marriage is the place consent works best.
Clarification – to make it clear that marriage is the best form of consent means marriage is the best environment for consent.
i heard him say “Consent is essential but insufficient” for sex
Can’t see it in the transcript.
Marriage for most people is primarily for sexual activity, “to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.” 1 Cor. 7:2-6 by definition one cannot rape his own wife. he can sexually abuse her but he cannot rape her.
Marriage for most people is primarily for sexual activity, “to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.” 1 Cor. 7:2-6 By definition one cannot rape his own wife. he can sexually abuse her, but he cannot rape her.