Joel Cave, founder of the Gold-Coast-based Glow church, which saw rapid growth, has revealed that a mental and physical breakdown led to his stepping away from ministry in a lengthy social media post. The Glow Church board revealed last October that Cave had separated from his wife and had to step down from ministry. Cave makes it clear there was no marital infidelity involved.
“While many Christian’s have either been prayerful, speculative or downright happy to make things up/ gossip – let me take a moment to set things straight, so no one is left guessing,” Cave posted. “After a number of years of extreme pressure as a leader, husband, father, church planter and rapid growth dynamics, I learnt the hard way that every Man has a breaking point. At the very root of pushing through and thinking I can shoulder every area of life’s pressure is the reality of Pride. I can try and justify all the hard work for the Lord, the fruit of years of rapid growth and try and be a rescuer of people and challenge, but ultimately God loves and cares for me more than maybe I have cared for myself.
“I got things around the wrong way, by loving Jesus bride and prioritising the church over my own bride and family. I can tell you there is nothing more painful than experiencing getting that wrong, and I’m repentant for not putting my wife and kids first instead of my ministry. Just to be very clear in our 25 years of marriage, there has been no infidelity, no affair or breaking of our covenant, but being under extreme pressure, made it hard for those closest in my life to live with the exhausted version of me. I put pastoring everyone else first, and by the time l got home, neglected my family with my time, as I had nothing left to give compared to years gone by. I made choices to keep pushing through, and just one more thing to fix, when the people closest to me were concerned for my well-being and health. Ultimately, it led to my body completely shutting down and in October, I ended up in hospital for almost a month suffering the consequences of a breakdown.”
He diagnoses the sin behind this outcome was pride.
“Pride got the better of me, and I bought into the lie that without me, things would fall apart. I’ve been reminded in this last season that Jesus is the one who builds his church, and we are only his co-labourers. It’s my job to love my wife and family, and then from that overflow love others – sadly, I’ve failed and need to get better. I’m thankful I’m still young, have learnt far more life lessons in my young years from success and failure and know God will use me how he chooses, but only once everything is back in the right order. Upon medical advice and those closest to me, I’m taking a full year off ministry to rest, recover and heal and after that will make wise choices about what my future will look like.”
And he wants no one to follow his path.
“My simple advice is if you know you’re at breaking point- pull your car over, find a few people who really love you and get honest. Speak to your board, get a counsellor for wise next steps. It’s not enough to just keep praying – it’s only part of the process. The word of God is clear that we go to God for forgiveness and people for healing. Please don’t push yourself so hard that you end up in hospital like me. …”
“Maybe while I’m here, it’s a good reminder to pray for your own pastors. Not everyone and everything you read is real or has truth to it. The bottom line is there’s many great pastors who have just pushed ourselves way too hard and not known how to get help. That’s my story, and I know by being real and vulnerable in the years to come I’m going to be able to help many people with what l’ve learnt in this season, be a good friend to people and leaders and get back to the fact I’ve never stopped loving people. Let’s be kind to our leaders and focus on praying and less online preying.”
“Humbly and with love. Joel”
(The Other Cheek has made minor grammar changes to Cave’s post.)
Image: Joel Cave. Image Credit: Joel Cave Facebook