An Obadiah Slope column
The New York Times‘ newest columnist, evangelical Christian David French, courts controversy in one of his first columns.
“Many Americans — especially in evangelical circles — are familiar with the saying, ‘Men want respect while women want love,’” he writes. “They may need both, but they sometimes want different things. The concept was popularised by a writer and pastor named Emerson Eggerichs, who wrote the book “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs,” but it’s hardly an exclusively Christian concept. Eggerichs interviewed men and women and found that — in times of conflict — men overwhelmingly felt disrespected, not unloved, and if forced to choose, they would choose respect over love. “
Noting carefully that the idea that men desire respect is part of right-wing discourse, French points out the dangers of seeking regard in the eyes of others. And yet, Obadiah is troubled by the thought that he does that all the time.
God in Christ offers Obadiah purpose – the higher calling French gets around to endorsing in his thoughtful column. But Obadiah finds he gets stuck seeking respect. It may come from working in the media, which is not always worthy of respect. Or perhaps it is a product of being orphaned and adopted. Both are true of Obadiah.
But in seeking to be respected by others and being unhappy, feeling he may not have it, Obadiah performs an almost willful rejection of the rest and joy that his heavenly Father offers him. Obadiah keeps returning to the same old trap.
Almost wilful? That’s letting Obadiah off lightly, he thinks. Sometimes you fall into wanting the wrong thing. At least that’s Obadiah’s pattern.
###
Chief failing? Hmm.
###
Getting on in life: Obadiah got his Seniors card this week. It says the bearer is a “valued member of the community.’ It also is helpful for discounts. A younger member of Obadiah’s clan observed that although she is decades younger, she is also a valuable member of the community and suggested that Obadiah was “entitled.” But she added, “You’re a discounted member of the community.” Respect, anyone?
###
All things to all men/people: St Paul’s well-known instruction to be “all things to all people” might be getting an energetic workout by Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
The Church of England General Synod passed a motion last week supporting their bishops in issuing a set of prayers that bless same-sex couples while not being clear exactly what was being blessed. (The Bishop of London leading the project implied it included sexually active couples, but the fine print from church lawyers indicated it did not).
Welby welcomed the new prayers “joyfully.”
Then later that week in Ghana, for another meeting, he said that “of course, I could be wrong” to a more conservative audience.
Critics of the Archbishop might accuse him of being evasive, with one message for the right and a different one from the left, leaving some on either wing perplexed or angry.
Was this a case of being all things to all people for the sake of Christ or of trying to square a circle?
Obadiah suspects it might have been both.
There will be some points at which we all have to work out whether something in what we do is being all things for the sake of Christ or whether we are just fudging an issue.
Take the “He Gets Us” ads running on US TV, including their Super Bowl football final.
The ads seek to commend Christ. But some Christian critics say they need to mention sin and repentance to have any effect. (And some on the left are offended that large sums of money are being poured into evangelism.)
Effective communication or cowardice?
Obadiah thinks they are good opening statements that will allow follow-up conversations.