This account was written by Laura Toggs, on the day her father, Brian Houston received his “not Guilty” verdict on the charge of concealing a serious indictable offence of another person. In his judgment, Magistrate Gareth Christofi detailed how Brian Houston had spoken to a wide circle of people: his family, the 150 pastors at his churches, a vision night of 2000, the whole church congregation and the Hillsong conference of 10,000. “He spoke widely and freely. He wanted people to know about it. That is the very opposite of a cover-up.”
Today, I sat beside my Dad in a courtroom and exhaled with an overwhelming sense of relief & gratitude. However, today is still marked by the painful reality that victims of abuse have to live with forever, and for that, my heart will always remain heavy.
Roughly 25 years ago, I was barely a teenager. I came home from school one day, and my Dad sat me down and told me he had recently learned of evil acts perpetrated by my grandfather toward a child, some 30 years prior and when my Dad was a child himself (55 years ago!).
I will never forget the pain and trembling in his voice as he told me these things and grappled with the reality that his father was not the man he knew him to be. From that day onwards, I have watched him with an immense amount of grief, repeatedly share this openly to multitudes. In living rooms, in staff meetings, in church services, at a royal commission, in arenas, in national newspapers & on global TV networks. As the magistrate said today as he delivered his verdict, “This is the opposite of a cover-up”.
Spending the last 25 years with this stain upon our name has been an arduous journey. The accusations against my Dad, the manipulations of truth and the straight-up lies have felt like perpetual fiery arrows. Contrary to the constant false narratives spun by reporters and journalists, we DETEST the EVIL that was done at the hands of my grandfather. And we have carried only sorrow for those that he hurt. I want to make it clear that I am so deeply sorry to anyone who has suffered abuse in their lifetime; this grieves me deeply and grieves the heart of God. Earlier today, after my Dad delivered some words of compassion toward the victims … he said a powerful line to the effect of “I am not my father” – and that is the truth. My Dad is a man of integrity, and I have watched him, all my life, try his best to do right by people.
Yes, he has residually lived some dark days, and as a family, we have watched as this weight almost crushed him. But he is not the victim and has never acted like it, either. I also painfully watched as people abandoned my parents. I watched as the church was pulled away from them like a rug pulled from beneath their feet. I watched as people acted in self-preservation and double-downed on their attempts to serve their own interests. And that has been disappointing and disheartening, to say the least. But I believe in forgiveness and reconciliation. And I believe that today marks a day to look forward. I know that a key part of my future is to learn from the past and do better to honour Jesus in the church for the generations to come. And so we do look forward and pray to God for more wisdom & understanding.
Thank you, Jesus, for grace and mercy.
Thank you, Jesus, for your love and kindness.
Thank you, Jesus, that you are healer.