An excerpt from The Team Member’s Handbook by Dave Moore.
Moore explains he wrote the book because “From the moment I started following Christ, serving him and serving with others was just part of the deal. But churches and ministry programs can be complicated—not to mention our motivations. This book is what I wish someone had given me 30 years ago. I used my ministry failures and mistakes, and the lessons I had to learn, hoping it will help others not make the same mistakes.” This excerpt is on the topic many of us find hard: following the leader.
Sometimes, being a team member will mean listening to your team leader’s instructions and just going along with them. It’s a bit like the centurion who, in discussion with Jesus, describes his own power: when he commands one of the soldiers under him to do something, the soldier does it (Luke 7:8). And many people love this idea: when joining a ministry team (especially for the first time), they crave someone who will tell them, “Go over there and do that like this”. If that’s you, then you can probably skip this chapter. It’s for those of us who are a bit more like me and find it hard to simply follow the leader.
Personally, I just don’t love being told what to do; I love being given options and choices and opportunities. I love re-thinking everything from the ground up and starting from scratch. I love being given responsibility. And if that’s how you’re wired, it’s worth acknowledging that sometimes what our team really needs from people like us is that we hold our tongue, put our heads down, and get in line with the program.
Sometimes, we just need to follow the leader.
But whether you’re on the extreme end of “I’ll do it my way” or you’re a happy follower, it’s worth thinking about why it’s good to go along with what’s been decided. The reality is that for every ministry team, there are a thousand different things that have already been worked out. You and your team are just operating within a small scope of opportunity.
For example, the members of the youth leadership team don’t have the authority to change what time youth group starts and ends. The Sunday computer operator can’t choose to put up the words of a different song from the one the band is singing. If the church has a set Bible study curriculum, all the Bible study leaders are meant to follow that to the best of their ability. I’m not saying you can’t ask questions and seek understanding, nor am I saying you can’t influence the future decisions that will be made (e.g. for next year’s curriculum).
But once a decision has been made, don’t spend the next six months grumbling about it and putting in a lacklustre effort. This is really where the rubber hits the road: How am I going to respond when my team leader (or my church) makes a decision that’s not what I would have preferred?
Notice I’m not talking about moral or ethical decisions, just wisdom and preference decisions. A great team member will assume:
• The people over me who bear responsibility for making the decision have probably thought hard and prayed about it
• I am probably unaware of multiple factors that went into making that decision
• There’s a real chance that my idea is not the best way forward, and the leader’s decision might actually turn out for the best (even if we can’t imagine that happening, none of us is all-knowing).
When I remind myself of these things, it helps me humbly submit myself to my leaders and choose to join in on their decision. Remember Hebrews 13:17: “Be followers and submissive to your leaders, for they stress over your souls as those who will give an account”. So whether it’s my first preference or my fourth preference, it shouldn’t change how I conduct myself as a team member. The right way for me to act and serve is to be all in.
Another good reason for this is that the people you serve are more important than the program. Even though you might have (what you think is) a great idea to improve some aspect of your ministry program, the goal isn’t to make the program great; the goal is to love people. And since people’s lives are messy, there’s only so much change people can handle. Often, it’s more loving to let things play out as they are, rather than push your team leader to make a ‘helpful’ change that people aren’t ready for.9
Don’t put on a good face for your leader only to grumble behind their back or undermine their leadership in some way.Don’t be grudging or grumpy as you ‘go along’ with the
leader’s plans because they didn’t choose your idea. Rather, in your heart choose their way as your way. Make it your own.
Defend it to other teammates and support it in public.
That doesn’t mean you become a mindless zombie. It is possible to hold on to an open question while still choosing to support your leader’s decision. It means choosing to suspend (not deny) your preferences and opinions, and willingly going along with what the team leader has decided is best for that point in time …
What happens if you really don’t understand a decision that’s been made, or if you didn’t get a chance to share your ideas before something important was decided? Start by being Christian, which means being generous and patient. Assume good things about other people’s motives. You might sidle up to your team leader and ask, “Hey, I noticed we’ve decided to go with this option—can you help me understand the reasons that went into that?” Or you might say, “Hey, I understand you’ve already made that decision, but if there’s a chance I could be part of the process next time, do you reckon you could bring me in on that type of thing?” Asking questions like this—in a spirit of partnership and support, rather than a spirit of criticism—shows you’re a thoughtful and engaged team member who wants to support your leader. It also gives them a chance to share their thinking with you to help you see where they’re coming from and why they’ve made that call.
Whatever approach you take, continue to operate with gentleness and respect, making generous assumptions about your team leader wherever possible. As Jesus taught us, treat your leader as you’d wish to be treated yourself (Matt 7:12).
The big principle is generally to trust that your team leader is doing their best, and then be the best team member you can be in the moment by following their lead.
The Team Members Handbook: How Christians serve Jesus together David Moore, Matthias Media, 2025. Available from The Wandering Bookseller $10.39